International Women’s Day
I’ve always found myself most comfortable around women. When I was in kindergarten my mom worked part time. On the days when she wasn’t working, she would pick me up from the bus stop and set up a lunch-time picnic for the two of us on the family room floor. She prepared a triangle-cut peanut butter toast for me. For her lunch, my mom had StarKist canned tuna, which had a smell that still haunts me, even now as I am typing this. We sat on a plaid blue and white blanket and discussed the day. She wanted to know more than just how my day at school was. Who did I sit with on the bus in the morning? Who did I sit with on the way home? Did I have art, gym or music that day? What books were we reading? How did I feel about those books? The questions continued until 12:00 pm when the soap opera “All my Children” came on and shifted our attention to the happenings of Erica Kane and the town of Pine Valley (Yes, I watched soap operas everyday in kindergarten. Yes, this significantly influenced the person I am today).
I now understand that behind my mom’s curiosity was her care. Her interest in me provided me a warmth that I have been fortunate to feel from so many women in my life. My two best friends growing up were girls who lived on my block. They taught me the difference between being bossy and assertive. They taught me that there was no shame in choosing Barbie over GI Joe or Britney Spears over Nelly.
Women have always been my greatest friends, allies and teachers. They organized community bake sales and car washes with me when I wanted to raise money for Relay for Life, they challenged me to think and work harder when I was in situations where I felt like I was doing all I could. When I was ready to live my life authentically as a gay man, I was lucky to have the women in my life to raise me up.
I work in an industry where women significantly outnumber men, but this does not transcend into leadership positions. I live in a world where the most dangerous place for a woman is in her home, with 58% of all women homicide victims being killed at the hands of an intimate partner or family member. I am still learning where my role lies in the fight for gender equality, learning when to use my voice and when to listen. Today, on International Women’s Day, I celebrate the women in my life who share their care, determination and warmth.
